Random thoughts during 2nd trimester

Bad dreams

I’ve been having bad dreams lately. They were not just those upsetting kind of dreams but lucid ones. My mind was fully awake during the dreaming and I had control over my own character in the dreams. I could also decide whether to stop dreaming and wake up or continue along with the dream. In one dream, I screamed at a peeping Tom outside my parents’ house and that woke Yang up. In another, more than 50% of my students failed their O level exam.

My immediate response to such unusual phenomenon was to recall whether I had ingested anything new lately that might upset my well being. As much as I have suspected, my fish oil supplement was likely the culprit. According to available information on the Internet, fish oil and certain medication could have unpleasant side effects, including lucid dreaming. I stopped taking my fish oil capsule for a day and thankfully the bad dreams didn’t come back. Today, I took my supplement earlier in the day in hope that the effects would be diluted by the time I turned in.

Nutrition

I confess that I have been less careful over what I popped into my mouth for this pregnancy. I used to abstain from coffee (like totally) and tea (90% of the time). For no. 2, I took occasional sips of coffee from Yang’s cup on weekends and drink decaffeinated coffee (which is not 100% caffeine-free) once or twice weekly. I also take about 2 cups of tea weekly. Ya, I’ve not been a good girl. But coffee is my comfort drink and I’ve been stressed at work…

Raising a boy

I’m so used to raising a girl and now I’m apprehensive over the task of raising a boy. How ah? Act tough? Play rough? What if he prefers to play with dolls and soft toys? *faint*

2nd child syndrome

I think I would be less anxious and paranoid over every minute detail for our 2nd child. But would I care less and expect less for no. 2? Would my capacity for love diminish after no. 1? Would no. 2 be an ill-disciplined, under-achiever? Scary thought. I read some very encouraging sharing from other mothers who have 2 or more children – that while we might seem less bothered with our second child and so on, our experience with no. 1 would make us better-equipped mothers and the older kid plays a unique role of helping to bring up the younger sibling(s). The dynamics of a family changes with each new addition to the fold. And more often than not, raising children gets easier over time.

The value of children

After having our first child, I truly believe that no other experiences in life come close to parenting. My growth as a person would not be as rich without the parenting experience. I’m not good at explaining this but you know what I mean if you were a parent. The untold sacrifices, humbling experiences, evaluation of life perspectives, the ‘flesh of my flesh’ meaning tugs at one’s heartstrings, the affections of a child, the togetherness of a family…At the end of the day, we are richly blessed through our children.