The one thing which really upsets parents, especially first-timers, is hearing their babies cry. There are many books and websites that deal with the issue of crying and after doing a bit of reading up and going through Hannah’s crying episodes, here are some of my thoughts on it.
When a baby cries, the first and foremost thing to bear in mind is he/she is distressed. Crying is his/her only way of communication. When a baby cries, it could be due to:
1) Hunger
2) Soiled diaper (and/or soiled bed)
3) Wind in tummy / colic
4) Tiredness; wanting to sleep
5) Lack of security
6) Illness / in pain
I had always believed that attending to a crying baby too often can spoil him/her. I discovered this to be a false notion if I’m attending to his/her needs. Meeting a need is not equal to establishing a bad habit or making a spoiled brat.
In her early weeks, Hannah would often cry and refuse to nap/sleep even after her need for clean diaper, clean bed, full tummy and burping were met. I read from a book that recommends parents to train their babies to sleep by letting them cry it out. Yang and I couldn’t forget that one night when we hardened our hearts and allowed Hannah to ‘cry it out’ for an hour before we ‘surrendered’ by picking her up. During the whole duration, we kept hoping that she would fall asleep but she only became more and more worked up. Her cries became louder and sharper to a point of screeching and losing her voice. I tell you, it was such a heart-wrenching experience for us. And guess what, after we picked her up to console her in her full-blown hysteria, she fell asleep.
Later I read from other baby websites that it was okay to pick up a crying baby after you have checked that his/her needs were met and if the crying lasted for 10-15 minutes. It is true that babies sometimes need to cry a bit to sleep but if the baby has been crying for too long, then it is a good idea to comfort him/her. Now, this is a bit tricky. I learned that if I pick Hannah up to hug her and then put her back to bed, she would cry even louder. Patting her in bed and reassuring her that she is loved works better. But if the crying continues and doesn’t seem to end, I would pick her up and cuddle her for much longer (about 15 minutes). After that, she would usually to go sleep.
I find that the more I attend to Hannah, the lesser she cries. I guess she just need to feel secure and loved. When her emotional bank account is filled, she can deal with time alone by herself better. Now that she is more alert, I try to increase the activity time with her after each feed (except for the ones at night) before putting her down for naps. It appears that once she has her fill of interaction time with mommy, she can while her time away babbling by herself or playing with her toys in bed contentedly even when she doesn’t feel sleepy. Now, if only this would last! Ha. :)
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