It could be an Asian thing, but from the man’s point of view at least, confinement for Chinese mummies in Singapore sure isn’t easy. The engagement of confinement nannies and helpers is a cottage industry here, with fees of 28 days help going upwards of $1800 to $2000.
To be honest, the price of help was never quite the issue with me (and Ling). Rather, it’s the tussle between traditional confinement ‘practices’ versus good old common sense.
I’m sure several of these practices are familiar to Singapore women, but for the benefit of Matt – whom I’m certain will be ROFLMAOing by the end of this post – here are some of them. According to these practices, for the one month after childbirth, women…
Are not allowed to bathe using normal water.
Are not allowed to wash their hair.
Are not allowed to be in air-conditioned environments.
Can only drink red date tea.
Cannot walk barefooted on marble floor.
Heard enough yet…?
The common rejoinder / nag when asked why such prohibitions is that you’d get rheumatism, back pains etc. when you’re old age.
I’ve always thought it’s so easy for these confinement practices apologists to say “You don’t LISTEN, FINE!! You just wait… you’d only feel effects when you’re old!!!”
I mean, let’s just be honest. It’s going to be 30+ more years, and are people going to be able to draw direct correlations between your rheumatism and the fact that you bathed and wash your hair 30 years ago…?
To be fair, our confinement nanny is very nice and is at least sympathetic when Ling is obviously most distressed whenever she learns she cannot do something again. Ling did get a bit of grief initially from her own mum though early on, but things are OK again. And it’s also fortunate that my own mum is a bit more liberal and agreeable that some of these customs don’t really have to be followed strictly.
And medical experts also question the sensibility of some of these practices. E.g. link here.
I don’t think it’s simply a want to be disobedient. It’s just me maybe too, but I think it’s absurd to ask Ling not to wash her hair for 28 days. It’s a question of hygiene and not smelling unwashed.
And most importantly… she’s sleeping in the same bed as I am LOL.
ya lor, can u imagine people sterilise everything for the baby but the mother is one big walking bacteria?? LOL
GAH!!!! u put up our “no makeup” faces!!!!! AAAHHH!!!!! next time go your house i don’t want to pose for pics already =P
The photo looks ok what.:)
LOL – the doc in the link you provided looks so zombified!
First Preg- I sacked my confinement lady in a day for talking too much, saying irritating & discouraging things and not giving me enough rest
Second Preg- I did without a confinement lady
Verdict- their services are overrated – it can sometimes be more stressful having a complete stranger during the house & having to deal with her personality during this recovery period when you are just learning to cope with new baby
My sentiments exactly, Pam!
She almost burned down our kitchen! How to rest well when there’s somebody new to the house? I do worry every now and then after the incident.
Then again, i need someone to help bathe, soothe the baby, etc etc so that i could lie down to rest a while.
Confinement period is worst than morning sickness!
Hey Ling: What are your medium term plans? Have your mum or MIL babysit? Or infant care? Or maid help?
We will most prob get MIL to help babysit. In that case, we’ll hire a maid to help out with the daily chores at MIL’s place. Thank God that MIL is willing.